


The Hands of Time Aren't Always Gentle

by prototyping



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fic, genfic, post-kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 14:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7849333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prototyping/pseuds/prototyping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean it always has to be difficult. They’ve each loved and lost enough to know better. Roxas, Aqua. Post-KH3.</p>
<p>Project fic for the KH Worlds Connected 2016 fanzine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hands of Time Aren't Always Gentle

_You’ll recover with time._

Those words rang in his ears as Roxas awoke, blinking and wincing against the sunlight glaring on his face. For a few muddled seconds he was confused -- this was midday sunlight, not twilight -- but then memory came creeping back in. That still didn’t tell him where he was, but it probably explained why he was somewhere other than home, in a room and on a bed he didn’t recognize.

For the moment he relaxed, trying to sort out his thoughts and ignore the lingering breathlessness in his chest. Not terrible, but still uncomfortable.

_You’ll recover with time._ Naminé. She had assured him with a smile that this was a temporary thing -- provided he didn’t push himself like a stubborn idiot, as he had just done, but the dizzy spell had managed to hit him at the worst possible time. In the midst of a battle with thirty-to-one odds, give or take, there hadn’t been much choice but to keep fighting.

With a half-sigh, half-growl, Roxas rubbed his eyes and tried again to open them. The sunlight was a little less harsh this time, rewarding him first with the sight of a tall window to his left and a clear view of bright blue sky. Slowly, his core muscles protesting slightly, he sat up to look through it. Mountains and green land stretched out as far as he could see. It was almost dizzying, and he needed a few seconds to collect himself and pull his eyes away.

The room was a less impressive sight, but again he was caught by surprise, this time by its familiarity. The placement of the bed and window, the furniture, even some of the knick knacks lying around… Had he been here before?

No, he quickly realized. Not here, but somewhere similar. His room -- his fake room, in that fake Twilight Town of fake memories -- it had resembled this one, vaguely.

Where was this?

His chest gave another twinge, his head growing light. He lied back again, rolling onto his right side to put the window at his back. Wherever this was, it felt… _he_ felt safe, or at least in no danger, and he hadn’t forgotten Aqua’s presence when he collapsed. Had she brought him here? Maybe. Probably.

_You’ll recover with time._ Roxas hoped so. He wasn’t proud, necessarily, but there was something particularly frustrating about having fainted around Aqua like that, forcing her to protect him as well as herself against that horde of Heartless. Maybe it was because he didn’t know her all that well -- or maybe this whole ordeal was just pushing his nerves to the limit at last.

This “ordeal” being the annoying fact that, by some law of the universe, his separation from Sora was even more unnatural this time than the first. It meant his body and heart needed to adjust, the latter in particular since it was now supporting both without assistance. Naminé didn’t say how _much_ time was required, but she had seemed confident that it was nothing to worry about as long as he was careful in the meantime.

Roxas snorted lightly, annoyed once more at the circumstances, at his own weakness, and his next inhale brought with it a faint -- warm? -- scent that was also both new and not. Familiar, but he wasn’t sure why. It took him a moment to realize it came from the pillow under his head, but he was pretty sure clean laundry didn’t smell like that. That meant it was used, then, which meant it was the scent of some _body_? Whomever this bed belonged to?

It struck him as a weird thought. He’d never used another’s bed before. He usually didn’t get close enough to a person to determine if they had a scent, either. So why did he kind of recognize this one? Did everybody have one? Did he?

That string of thought was cut as the bedroom door suddenly opened, making him perk up without rising. He wasn’t too surprised to see Aqua, although he didn’t expect her face to light up so brightly with relief.

“Roxas! You’re awake!” She hurried over with that smile practically radiating warmth. “How’re you feeling?”

He had to think about that. He tried again to sit up, but his stomach cramped sharply and his head swam. He dropped back onto his side. “Easy,” said Aqua gently. She touched his shoulder, looking concerned, and it was a sharp contrast to the hardened look on her face that he last remembered seeing. “Don’t push yourself. You’ve been out since yesterday.”

_Yesterday?_ Not the longest sleep he’d had, but that was a surprise all the same. “What happened?” he asked, although he had an idea.

“You collapsed. I brought you back to my world -- for healing, although I haven’t been able to do much.” She frowned, apologetic. “But Master Eraqus took a look at you. He says you’ll be fine soon.”

Soon. With time. Always that vague answer, and Roxas was starting to lose patience with it. It was nobody’s fault -- the delay _or_ the state he was in -- but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hate it. He didn’t like being idle. Having too much time on his hands was usually more grating than relaxing, at least when he was alone. He still wasn’t used to possessing so much freedom of choice on a casual, day-to-day basis, and lacking even short-term purpose put him on edge. He didn’t know what to do with himself. It made him antsy.

But he wasn’t alone, not right now, and he was glad for it. He just hoped Aqua would stick around.

“Your world,” he echoed thoughtfully. The… Land of something... Xion mentioned it occasionally -- ah, Departure. That was it. The Land of Departure. It was where Aqua and Ventus and Terra all hailed from. It was an important place, apparently, although he didn’t know why.

Without moving too much, Roxas glanced around the room. Was this a building? A house? The interior made it hard to tell, although the height he’d guessed from the window view suggested the former.

Aqua noticed his look and hummed. “Mm-hm. You’re in the castle. Ven’s room,” she added. “I’m afraid our guest quarters aren’t really fit to use right now.”

Ven… ah. Some things suddenly made sense, then -- well, as much sense as some things _could_ make, anyway, which just meant Roxas would write it off as another _Sora and Ven thing_ rather than find any closure in a real answer.

“He wouldn’t mind,” Aqua went on reassuringly, confidently. “And he shouldn’t be back until tomorrow, so it’s not getting any use, anyway.”

Roxas almost pointed out that he couldn’t guarantee he would be on his feet by then -- these fatigue episodes lasted anywhere between ten minutes to a week at their worst -- but he kept that to himself. It sounded ungrateful when Aqua was obviously going out of her way to help him.

“...Sorry about yesterday,” he replied instead, looking up at her. “For dragging you into it.”

Aqua blinked, surprised, but her expression quickly softened as she smiled again. “It’s okay.” She leaned over to better meet his gaze, touching his elbow lightly, and for a moment the fog in his head and the bubble of discomfort in his chest dimmed. “I’m just glad I was there to help -- the important thing’s that you’re all right.” She stood up straight again, withdrawing her touch, and Roxas’ ache settled on him once more. “Mind if I join you?”

It was his turn to blink. It seemed kind of weird to request permission to sit, especially when this was her friend’s room in the first place. All the same, he was glad for it. “Sure.”

He thought she’d sit on the bed, but instead she pulled the desk chair over to the bedside and claimed it, close enough for easy conversation but with an arm’s length of breathing room between them. “I didn’t get the chance to say it yesterday,” she told him, “but your skills are really impressive. You haven’t taken a Master, though, right?”

“No.” It wasn’t a flat reply, per se, but it was obviously a disinterested one. Some of the other wielders had taken up apprentice roles after the War, including Xion, who now actually studied under Aqua; Lea had trained with Yen Sid just before everything went down, still did, but Roxas chose to remain masterless up to this day. He didn’t lack interest in getting stronger, but he had always done so well enough on his own. Neither did he feel quite ready to pledge his loyalty to another authority figure just yet. Later, maybe, but not today.

Aqua seemed to catch on. “Well, no rush. It looks like you’re doing really well for somebody self-taught. But if you ever have any questions -- or if you just want somebody to train with, you’re always welcome here, Roxas. We’re all glad to help.”

He nodded, but his thoughts were less on her offer and more on her comments. Taking a Master versus being self-taught… “Were you always trained?” he asked.

“Mm-hm. Ever since I received my Keyblade.”

So she’d been taught from the ground up. Thinking back to what he had seen, Roxas found that easy to believe. Magic wasn’t his specialty, but even he had detected the massive power behind her spells. The sheer size and force of them were beyond anything he’d seen before, making him wonder if they were even the same spell types that he was used to.

And even amid the chaos, he’d noticed Aqua herself at the time, too. She was normally calm, collected, and gentle; in past battles they had been in together, she was always among the most levelheaded of fighters. She was no less so yesterday, exactly, but as little as Roxas knew her he still thought there had been something different about her. The way she leaped in front of him, her sudden dependence on heavy physical attacks despite that she almost always integrated magic into her streamline style of fighting -- there had been something almost… panicked about her, he would say. Desperate, maybe.

Had he messed up that badly? Or was she always protective of others?

Or…

He glanced around the room again. Ven’s room.

...Maybe that was it.

He snapped out of his thoughts as Aqua added a little wryly, “Although from the sound of it, the master-apprentice system is a little outdated these days.”

Her humor was contagious. Roxas found himself smiling back, although it was a little sympathetic, too. Like her -- although to a lesser extent -- time had left him behind and he’d had a lot to catch up on. That thought, or maybe something else, prompted him to try and offer some optimism. “It’s coming back,” he pointed out. “Almost everybody has one now.” Even the new wielders who had been made during the war.

Just not Roxas.

Aqua’s remark must have been more of a joke than he realized, or maybe she wasn’t expecting a genuine response, because her eyebrows rose as she blinked at him -- and then she chuckled, but fondly. “You’re right.”

“What’s so funny?” His question wasn’t defensive, only curious.

“Sorry, I wasn’t--” She seemed to rethink her words and only shook her head. “I just thought -- that sounded like something Ven would say.”

Roxas didn’t miss the way she changed every time Ven’s name was mentioned. Nothing major, but the warmth in her voice always went up and the corners of her eyes softened; in a very distant way it reminded him of those fleeting days back in the Organization, of how Axel’s expression would do something similar when he noticed that Roxas or Xion was present. By himself or around the others, it was always much more closed off; looking back now, all those casual and disarming smiles he threw out around Xigbar and the rest had really been anything but.

Aqua wasn’t like that. The smile she gave Roxas and the smile that Ven incited were different, but that didn’t make one more real than the other.

Kind of like Roxas and Ven themselves.

“You don’t…” He hesitated, reconsidered, but then finished the thought, anyway: “You don’t think it’s weird?” he asked bluntly. “Me and Ven?” If she did, she hid it well.

Aqua actually didn’t answer right away. She looked contemplative as her smile faded, not grim as much as seriously thoughtful. Her eyes turned to the window as she mulled over her reply, but not for long. “You know,” she said finally, slowly, “when you spend enough time around a person… you start to get something of a feel for their presence.”

“Presence?”

She nodded. “That’s right. It’s what tells you they’re near even when you can’t see them. It can help you tell when something’s wrong, even if they don’t say it -- because something about them doesn’t feel right. It can lead you to them, if your bond is old and strong enough.” The corner of her mouth quirked, but Roxas thought the expression looked a little melancholy. After a moment Aqua seemed to break out of it, her normal smile returning as she looked down at him. “You and Ven feel very different to me. I can tell your lights and your hearts are as different as your memories and personalities. A face… is just that. Just one detail out of a lot more.” She tilted her head, studying him, and added, “But you know -- you two aren’t identical, either.”

“We’re not?” Roxas wasn’t in the habit of looking into mirrors often, but all the joking comments and frequent mix-ups lately had him convinced that he and Ven were spitting images of one another.

“Hm-mm,” she hummed. “I can’t really put my finger on it, but… I’ve never had trouble telling you two apart. Neither has Terra.”

_Or Lea,_ Roxas recalled silently. Xion had a couple times, but that was probably Ven’s fault. The first time she’d made the mistake, he’d laughed -- not at _her_ , really, just at the confusion -- and that had flustered her, for some reason. Now whenever she came across the two boys together, there was always a chance she would mix them up out of embarrassed apprehension, even when Roxas was wearing his black coat. (It most definitely hadn’t helped when Roxas laughed the second time. It seemed no amount of apologizing on Ven’s end could undo the damage, either.)

“So to answer your question,” Aqua went on, “no, I don’t think it’s weird. It was definitely a surprise at first, but… weird? No.” Roxas contemplated that until she spoke up again, her voice softer than before. “What about you? Does it bother you?”

He had to think about it for a couple heartbeats. Some of the jokes were already old and in grumpier moods he found the mix-ups annoying, but he didn’t think that counted as “bothering” him. It didn’t “bother” him like a lot of things in the past had. He didn’t think any less of Ven for it, or blame him for the fleeting frustration, or question his own existence because of it. In a way, Roxas probably had Sora to thank for the lack of what might once have been hostility; he knew whom he was, what he was, and no physical similarities to anybody changed that.

“No,” he said finally. The way Aqua’s gaze lingered suggested that the pause worried her, so he added, “I guess… I do think it’s kind of weird still, but…”

When he floundered on how to finish the thought, she offered, “But you’re not really sure what to think?” Roxas nodded again and she gave a thoughtful hum. “I think Ven might feel the same way,” she mused.

“He sure doesn’t act like it.”

Aqua glanced at him. “...No, I guess he doesn’t,” she agreed, earning a puzzled look. “But I also think you two handle things differently. Even if he finds it strange, Ven’s the type to be proactive about something. He visits, doesn’t he?”

That was true. Roxas wouldn’t say he saw him _often_ , particularly of late, but Ven did seem to drop by Twilight Town once every week or two. The Heartless population there was all but nonexistent now, so he couldn’t be there on business, and he always sought Roxas out for even a brief chat where possible.

“Has he always been like that?” he asked.

“Like what?”

“...Friendly. Reaching out to people.”

Aqua gave a quiet exhale that was probably another subtle laugh. “Well… I didn’t always know him. But if I had to guess, I’d say he’s always been more or less the same.”

That was a bit of an odd concept, at least for Roxas. He and Xion and Lea, even Saïx -- Isa -- had all changed over time. Some more dramatically than others, but noticeably all the same. It made him wonder if Ven was impressively mature or just very lucky.

“And speaking of reaching out,” said Aqua, “is there anybody who needs to know you’re here? I don’t want them getting worried.”

The only ones who would notice his absence, Roxas thought, were Lea and Xion, but they were still abroad on a mission (no, not _mission_ , he reminded himself, although hunting Heartless was still synonymous with the term in his mind). Even if they did get back early, the three of them traveled so often that a day or two wouldn’t be a cause for alarm.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll probably be up soon.” That was more wishful thinking than a lie. Aqua seemed to believe it either way, leaning forward to settle her hand over his -- either her skin was very cool or his was overheated -- and give a comforting squeeze. Once again, Roxas’ nausea and the dull pain all throughout his system instantly abated to a more tolerable level, and this time he noticed the uncanny timing.

“I hope so. But take as long as you need, okay?” She started to pull her hand back again -- but Roxas closed his fingers around hers. Not rough, not tight, but enough to catch her attention.

Maybe it was a legitimate effect -- or maybe it was psychological, something in his head or heart just playing with shadows of memories he might have had without knowing. Or both. Either way--

“...It helps,” he muttered, staring intently into the comforter. “Touching you. It… clears my head, somehow.”

For a couple heartbeats Aqua didn’t say anything. Even Roxas, as intuitive as he was, couldn’t guess whether that was a good or bad thing coming from her. Then he heard a soft exhale and her hand covered his again -- more fully this time as she returned his gentle grip. “Okay.” He could tell she was smiling. “Is there anything else I can do?”

Roxas shook his head stiffly, the unfamiliar blanket feeling odd as it rubbed against his cheek. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but that sense of it being _somebody else’s_ was still there. “This is good. Thanks.”

To his mild surprise, Aqua moved over, sitting on the mattress’ edge down by his knees. That, too, appeared to help his aches some more, but Roxas was past caring whether it was real or imagined. She didn’t try to continue the conversation and he was fine with that. Some people, he knew, weren’t comfortable with long silences, but he was used to it from his days on the clocktower. Aqua seemed okay with it, too, simply staring at the far wall in thought.

Roxas studied her profile for a few long moments, again unable to resist drawing a comparison between her now and her yesterday. Everybody he knew had two sides to them: their everyday, casual side, and then the side that came out in battle. Some were generally the same in both, if more serious and focused -- like Xion, like himself, he thought -- while others seemed to flip a more noticeable switch. Aqua was one of the latter and possibly the most drastic case he had seen.

He started to look away, but something on her back caught his eye. He had to tilt his head a fraction thanks to the bright sunlight that made her skin practically glow, but then he made it out: just left of her right shoulder blade, two off-color marks began and ran for about two inches before disappearing beneath the edge of her top. For a moment he thought it was just a shadow, but then he realized he was looking at two sharp, deep scars. Healed over, but still visible.

It wasn’t a strange sight, really. Roxas had a couple scars of his own. But in light of his recent thoughts and what Aqua had said earlier, it made him wonder -- about how much real-world fighting she had done, the way that soft and gentle hand holding his had so efficiently and ferociously wielded her Keyblade during that battle. He wondered how her reflexes had been so on-point, almost prepared, as though she knew the Heartless’ attack patterns by heart. He wondered how old she was, whether that had anything to do with how mature she seemed -- compared to what he was used to, especially.

But he was probably overthinking things. It wouldn’t be the first time, as Lea would undoubtedly have pointed out.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” said Aqua suddenly, breaking him from his thoughts, “is everything okay? I don’t often see people collapse like that.”

Roxas nodded once. He didn’t mind; maybe she would have an idea of how to speed up his recovery. “It happens sometimes,” he told her with a one-shouldered shrug. “Ever since we came back. Naminé… says my heart’s still healing.”

“Healing?” Aqua looked equal parts puzzled and concerned.

“Kind of. I was with Sora for so long that… being away from him throws me off sometimes, I guess. I just feel sore and kind of sick.”

“And it only happens when you’re fighting?”

He thought for a moment. “...No, it’s pretty random. But I think it’s worse when… there’s a lot going on, you know? I don’t have to be fighting. If there’s a lot of noise, it can happen. Or even if somebody’s talking too much.”

Aqua’s eyebrows met as she frowned. Then she looked away, biting her lower lip. “...Roxas, do you -- again, if it’s okay to ask -- do you ever wake up with a headache? Maybe after a strange dream, or…”

It was Roxas’ turn to frown. That was a surprisingly good guess. “How’d you know?”

“It’s… It just sounds a little familiar, what you’re describing. I might have seen something similar before.”

“Really? Who was it?”

Aqua hesitated. As much as she wanted to be open with Roxas and help him, this wasn’t exactly her story to tell… but the only one who really had a right to talk about it remembered nothing of it.

She shook her head gently. He wouldn’t mind, especially if it was meant to help another.

“Ven,” she told him. “I guess you could say… his heart had to heal once, too. He recovered pretty quickly, but sometimes he could be… overwhelmed. If too much was happening, like you said.” Nothing, thank goodness, had managed to send him into another coma, but the episodes were still uncomfortable for him. She and Terra would always tread more carefully in their words and actions for the next few days. “I don’t know if it’s the same, but it sounds close.”

Roxas leaned up on his elbow, his hold on her hand slackening a bit as his focus shifted entirely to their conversation. “How’d he fix it?”

Aqua considered that, having to dig back into a time that managed to feel like both a lifetime ago and yesterday. How indeed… “Well… I think he really started improving once the three of us became close. It could’ve just been a coincidence,” she added doubtfully, “but… I get the feeling that maybe his heart began to heal because it had three more to lean on. It just needed a little help before it could stand on its own.”

She smiled down at Roxas, who looked contemplative. She’d meant it when she said that he and Ven weren’t identical, but it was still odd, sometimes, to see such uncharacteristic expressions on a face that resembled Ven’s so closely. She could sense his slight disappointment -- he’d been hoping for a solution to his own case -- so she added, “But that’s good news for you.”

“It is?”

“Sure. You already have friends that you’re very close to… and even if you’re not a part of Sora anymore, the two of you are still connected by your hearts. And I promise you, a bond that special is unbreakable.” Tilting her head, she regarded him with an easy, confident smile. “Just focus on those -- your bonds with those you care about -- and you’ll be okay.”

She wished she had a guess as to how long that might take, but she didn’t. Ven had required over half a year to be fully functioning again following his waking, but their cases, while similar, weren’t the same. Aqua could sense the light of Roxas’ heart clearly, whole and bright unlike the flickering wisp that had been Ven’s in those first few weeks, and his eyes were alive and cognizant, not empty and unseeing.

And judging by how highly and fondly Xion spoke of Roxas, it was obvious his heart was in good hands. However much love it needed to heal completely, it was there. Now the rest was up to time.

Much like herself, Aqua supposed. She had as many scars inside as out -- maybe more -- and there were still nights that she woke up in a cold sweat, still some paranoid reflexes that her body refused to forget after a decade of needing them to survive, still some terrible memories that she couldn’t let go of yet. But every time, every day or middle of the night, Terra or Ven or the Master was there, a shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold or a bed to share until she was okay to be on her own again.

She wasn’t guessing when she told Roxas to focus on his bonds. She was testifying to a truth because she was certain that her own connections were the only reason she made it through some days with a smile. They were the only reason she had survived those thirteen years.

“Huh.” Roxas’ thoughtful sound brought Aqua back to reality. “So I just need to spend time with them, like usual? That’ll work?”

“It will.” She couldn’t help it: she reached forward and ruffled his hair fondly, earning a short, surprised laugh. “But what I said before still stands, okay? Don’t push yourself.”

“Okay. I got it.” For the first time since he had awoken, Aqua thought Roxas looked genuinely at ease -- or maybe just untroubled. “Hey, Aqua?” Despite the similarity in their voices, Roxas spoke her name differently than Ven did. It was subtle, but she’d spent enough time around Ven to pick up on the slight difference in where they each put the emphasis.

“Hm?”

“You said the bonds with the ones I care about,” he mused. “Would that just mean my best friends? Or any friends?”

“I’d say it’s anybody you like being around.” Chuckling, she added, “Even if they’re not best friend level just yet.”

“Hm…” He seemed to be taking the advice to heart. “Then… would it be okay if I stick around a little longer? Lea and Xion won’t be back for a while, so…”

“Of course. Stay as long as you like -- you’ll have to wait a day or two for Ven, but he should be here for a while after he’s done with his trip.”

Roxas gave her a funny look. Then he appeared to realize something. “Oh. I wasn’t thinking about Ven, actually. I meant… you. If… that’s okay?” he said uncertainly.

Aqua blinked, taken aback slightly. She didn’t know how close Ven and Roxas were in light of the former’s efforts, but she’d just assumed…

Recovering after a moment, she broke into another smile -- and this one was a little more touched than the rest. “That’s perfectly okay, Roxas. I’d like that.”

* * *

_“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”_   



End file.
